Oct. 30
Surprise, Surprise more bad news. The leukemia has gotten worse and so have the fungus spots on the lungs. So transplant will once again be put off, and so will the surgery on the lung. If its getting worse or more spots are popping up, it is pointless to do a surgery to remove whats there. We will be doing another marrow test on Tuesday with the hopes that its like last time and stuns everyone, but this time its a more recovered marrow so them chances are slim.
Now my somewhat thoughts, if you don’t want to hear it stop now 
Everything will come out, nobody gets the complexity of this. Conner is just one person on the crew of this ship. Even the Titanic could only hold so much water until it broke in half flipped up on both ends and sunk and it was the strongest ship ever made, impossible to sink. Then as the crew is doing whatever can be done fighting a distressed ship the by-standers talk,gossip, and go out of the way to make it worse/impossible for the crew to work as a team. A ship this big has to be run by a team. Every captain has downfalls and flaws but couldn’t they be talked about on the liferaft or at shore. You don’t stab the captain in the back when the ship is in ruff water. These by-standers can’t understand, no one can understand. As if things aren’t bad enough and heading the wrong way already…..lets see if we can’t make it worse..Little did they know what might help them feel better, really hurt the whole team. Especially the one they thought it was helping, as if the burden wasn’t already big enough.
Almost exactly 7 months ago my life was normal, good I guess. I thought I had it all, and really had no worries. And money….money is funny. just about as funny as business they play hand in hand. You ride the ups and downs and are always a month behind. But exactly what is money/business, can it buy health or happiness. One can be fooled into thinking it can buy happiness, but in the end health is happiness. Money can’t buy health, I could offer UNC 10 billion dollars and at the end of the day the plan would remain the same.
There is a boy, a 3 yr old boy named Conner Aaron Stell, to UNC and most everyone else thats it, a boy named Conner Aaron Stell. But does everyone else understand he’s not just a boy to me or Karrie or Taylor. He’s a brother a son a life. All the little things are so funny and mean nothing, but to us they mean everything. When I ask Conner is that gonna be your school, he replied “when I go to the hospital I can go to school” most 3-9 yr olds don’t even know what the hospital is and my son talks as if its his second home. So many little things I could go on forever. For some reason it is our destiny to go through everyone elses worst nightmare, and believe me its a nightmare. The holidays fast upcoming makes it even worse. Now they talk about hold off remedies. I guess the plan is to hold off the inevitable. She said “He looks good so were not ready to write him off yet” You can’t write off your kid man!!!! You can’t write off your dog! How this all works is gonna get real interesting. I have a weird feeling my worst nightmare is fast upcoming. Yeah the one when I have to tell them to let my kid die. How can anyone do that!!!!!!!!! Everything crumbles down and you hope theres enough left to scrape, scrap, scoop up and startover.
Thanks for all the mail….unfortunately as the mail slows the disease speeds. Here I go again, but perfect example. It works in others minds for days but its in mine always and Conner is still sick right? Thats what no one gets. This isn’t the flu or a week long cold. Its CANCER the beast the worst, supposed to happen to old people. I hope my messed up mind doesn’t confuse anyone and I’m sure now no one will be asking for updates but…..join the club for 5 minutes!!
Daddy
Tags: 11 Comments
Aaron, thank you so much for the brutal honesty. My heart truly bleeds for you all. But we don’t live it like you do everyday. And it’s not fair that you have to live our worst nightmare. There are just no words to express how sad I am for you…that kid is amazing…I don’t ever want to think about you losing him. Anyway, I think you should keep being honest…people who love you (and there are MANY) can handle it and we know you’re a fighter and it’s fair that you have every emotion in the world. Gotta survice and I respect how you’ve handled everything. People mean it (and least I do) when they say to let us know if there’s anything we can do. So plese do. We love you!
Aaron, Please continue the updates. We feel so bad for the nightmare you live thru daily. But we continue to pray for Conner and the Stell family everyday. Everyday people ask about Conner. You guys down there cant hear or see the support that goes on up here in Iowa for Conner. You guys are part of this community now! When i tell people the updates and they are not so good people get soo said and some cry! Please continue the updates. Aaron take care of yourself. Conner needs you.
My heart goes out to you and and Karrie and Taylor. I am soo sorry you are going through this. It is NOT fair that you have to live this nightmare. My prayers are with your family. Hang in there.
Thank you for sharing these updates. Me and my family are praying and hoping for the best for Conner. Fight to keep your faith and trust that everything will be alright. That is the hardest part of the fight. I lost a son a little over a year ago. We should have lost our daughter but we didn’t. We were given very little hope by the doctors. Trust me I know there is nothing people can say or do that really helps. Just know, there is hope and miracles do happen. There is still hope. Don’t lose it and don’t let anyone take it away. Just realize sometimes we are taken to the brink of disaster only to come out better than we ever were before. Believe me Its not going to get any easier before it gets better. Now is the time to fight like a Junk Yard Dog. Be defiant. Don’t let anyone tell you its time to give up. Its never going to be time to give up. Get mad, be mad and stay mad, its ok. Just use it to your advantage. God bless you and your family. You are in our prayers.
There are no words for this. I cannot imagine the hell that it is to know, before you even swim up out of sleep in the morning, that your baby has this horrible disease. That in your life right now, there is no solid ground. That every time you try to get your footing, it slants again, tilts, turns upside down. Tricks you. And it’s not that you just need to stand. You have to fight for your son’s life. On this slippery, horrifying, quick-sand ground. All I know is that some things in your life have to stay constant when everything else is sliding down this slippery slope. YOUR family will always be in your corner. On your side. I don’t care if you don’t hear from us for a few days or if some of us can’t find the words at all. We love you and we’ll do anything – absolutely anyhting for you. Right now, we’re praying. I feel so protective of you. You’re a grown man, but I just remember you as a little kid. You were so darling and curious and smart and just so full of all this crazy energy. I remember how pissed I was when I thought you were messing up your life and how you hated me for trying to tell you what to do. I just loved you and wanted the best for you. It was such a helpless feeling. But I remember thinking – I don’t care if he hates me. If there’s anything I can do to make this better, I don’t care if he ever speaks to me again. I just wanted you to be that shiny, happy, kid with the amazing mind and this light all around him. I’m sure if you take that times 6 billion, that’s a little bit how you feel right now.Except it’s your son and he hasn’t done one thing wrong and he’s only 3 years old. So I guess it’s completely different. Anyway, your rambling has led to my rambling and so there you have it. I love you. We love you. So many people love and respect you and feel for you. You have our hearts. Everyday. Even when you don’t feel it, we’re here.
My heart goes out to you and and Karrie and Taylor. I am soo sorry you are going through this. Your honestty is greatly respected. We do not live it like you, Karrie Taylor and your mom. Conner is an amazing kid I look for your updates in hoping for more miricles and know when I get an update from you it is the facts. I do not want hear he said she said they said.
I feel if I call it is never a good time ya’ll have so much on you.
Thanks you for the updates and please continue them We love you guys.
you don’t know me. can not begin to imagine what it feels like to be where you are at with a child you love more than your life. if all we can be for you is your sounding board, then i hope that helps. vent all you need, and know that as parents, we know that you and your wife will do right by your son. i will never question that. i will never judge you. you have a right to every single one of your emotions. praying for you all, daily, and wearing the conner stell bracelet. if there is anything at all we can do, let us know. if there is some way to bring him a smile, let us know. god bless.
My heart goes out to you guys, I can’t imagine. Someone told me a long time ago and it has stuck with me. Cancer is a cowardly disease, it hits the young and the wonderful people that should live a long healthy life. Why? Why, does cancer have to be the beast that takes our loved ones away?
Love him, enjoy him and remember every moment you have with him. You have done and will do the very best for Conner!!
Bless You,
Connie
Hey Aaron all of that makes sense u tell karrie and conner and taylor that i love them so much and my mom and everybody is praying I HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU ALL i love you guys with all my heart
and im not giving up on my hopes and neither should you 
Jesus has his eyes on conner and im praying for they best he will be just fine
I can’t imagine what you and your family are going through. I can’t try to, I can’t fathom it whatsoever. No one can unless they’ve been there. I don’t know your son. I’ve seen him once and my daughter’s played with him briefly. He’s beautiful. I wish we all knew what to say to take some of this pain away, to make you and your family feel even a tiny bit better, but no one can. All I can say is that you’re all in our thoughts. You’re all true fighters and the love you have shown is truly heart wrenching. Your honesty and the way you have shared your journey is both amazing and so incredibly raw. You’re in our thoughts and prayers. Rockwell City is pulling for you and your beautiful little boy. Everyone is.
I check your website daily. I am amazed at your courage (the entire family) If God brings you to it – He will bring you thru it.
Hang in there! I hope Conner enjoys the cards. I thought he would like seeing a picture of Uncle Cliff when he was young.
The entire LONG family is praying for you. Thanks for maintaining your website. I know from experience that keeping up a website can be a wonderful thing. (I kept one for my Mom and my husband) It does allow you to express yourself. You are doing a great job.
Much love, Wanda